Coffee
by misfit320
Summary: On board the Normandy, Ash decides to head off a potential problem. Follow up to "Cold Comfort" and "Reunion."


******Continuing from "Reunion," I felt I should show what happens before the mission to stop the Reapers, in what would be a very uncomfortable moment.**

**As always, any and all feedback is welcome!**

**And I don't own any of the characters, because owning people is wrong.**

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><p><span>Coffee<span>

Just twenty hours after leaving the Citadel, the crew of the Normandy was beginning to fall into their normal routines. The night crew had just finished their watch, and the morning crew was just getting to their posts. During the transition, Gardner always made sure that he always had several fresh pots of coffee ready. It was just after the rush of one shift to their stations and the other shift to their bunks or sleeper pods that Miranda Lawson always made sure she arrived in mess hall. She wasn't big on crowds, and she enjoyed the quiet time that this afforded her before she started her work for the day.

She was sitting at the table facing the elevator, when she heard its motors running. She kept looking at her datapad, going over what reports she would need to start, which ones to finish, and what crew assignments would have to be redone when the doors opened, when out stepped one of their two resident Spectres, Ashley Williams, better known as Ash. They exchanged quick nods of hello as Ash walked past her to the coffee pot, and made herself a cup.

Ash came and sat across from Miranda. Inwardly, Miranda sighed. _She's going to want to talk, _she thought. While she had nothing against Ash, she relished her quiet time, and bristled at any disruption of her morning routine.

"So, Miranda, I was hoping we could talk for a second, before we all get caught up in the craziness that will be our mission."

Miranda put down her datapad. "Of course," she said, trying to be as polite as possible.

Ash looked down to her coffee, suddenly uncomfortable. "I just wanted to… thank you. First, for heading Project Lazarus, and for everything you did for John on the mission to stop the Collectors. He said how much help it was that he could rely on you. It means a lot that someone was there for him when I couldn't be."

Miranda was taken aback. This was the last thing that she thought Ash would want to talk to her about. Her past affiliation with Cerberus, her continued presence on the ship, maybe, but she would never have expected a thank you.

"I… you don't need to thank me. I was assigned to the Lazarus Project by the Illusive Man, so you really should thank him for bring Shepard back."

"I can't thank him. I guess I owe him the fact that John's back, but… the Illusive Man has done too many terrible things for me to ever say 'thank you' to him. Besides, you're the one who made the project a success."

"To tell you the truth, for me it was a matter of professional pride. I was given a job to do, and I had to make sure it was done perfectly."

_There was that word again_, thought Ash. Knowing the genetic engineering that Miranda had gone through to make her as genetically perfect as possible, as well as knowing her arrogant personality, the word seemed to have an added meaning. It made Ash feel belittled, that was the last thing she needed from her XO. She made a mental effort to not take it personally. _She didn't mean to bother me with that, and even if she did, I won't let her know she got one on me, _Ash thought to herself.

Collecting herself, Ash continued. "Still, professional pride or not, you were responsible for bringing him back. And while I know The Illusive Man brought him back for his own reasons, it still brought him back to me. And that means a lot. It's not every day that you get a second chance and, intentionally or not, you gave that to us."

Miranda was even more surprised at this. She realized that there was something innately likeable about Ash; her honesty, her candor, her directness, and the way all three mixed together. While it was clear that she wasn't comfortable discussing her feelings, her honesty was making up for it. It suddenly occurred to Miranda why Ash and Shepard were attracted to one another; they were very much alike.

Thinking about John and Ash's relationship, Miranda realized that she would have to take the conversation in a direction that would not be comfortable for either woman.

"I need to tell you something. Out of respect, and especially because we'll be working together, it's best that I just say it now and get it over with." Miranda took a moment to compose her thoughts before she continued. "I respected Shepard even before I actually met him. He was almost a hero, I guess you could say. The stories of his exploits ended up seeming quite larger than life. Once we started working together… I admired him. When I saw that he was taking an honest interest in his crew… not just the Strike Team, but the entire crew, from the engineers to the cook, and wanted to make sure everyone was ok… it struck me.

"He went out of his way to help people with personal problems. He helped me with my sister… something I've told no one else about until him. I found myself… attracted to him. I couldn't help it; I knew I shouldn't feel that way about the man who was in command of the mission, but…"

Ash had to smile. She had been in the exact same position herself, attracted to her commanding officer. Still, she let Miranda continue, appreciating the gesture.

"I know you know what I'm talking about. Well, I… propositioned him." Miranda's head fell into her hands in embarrassment. "God, I damn near threw myself at him. And he did something that I never experienced; He turned me down. I was humiliated at first. But after that potentially, he talked to me about you. He talked about meeting you, serving with you, his admiration of you, and even how he was a little jealous of how close you are with your family, especially since he doesn't have anyone left himself. I think that may have been a reason he helped me with my sister, because he doesn't want to let anyone lose their family."

Ash could feel the blush starting, but fought to keep it down. Instead, she looked down at her coffee. She caught sight of her engagement ring that Shepard had given her just a few days ago.

"I don't say this to be arrogant, but I've always been able to have anyone that I wanted. But when it comes to Shepard, I never stood a chance. After that, I respected him even more. He is a man of principles, of integrity.

"And I have to tell you something else. And this isn't to try to make you feel bad, but… for as courageous as he is, as strong as he is… the only time I've ever seen him broken was after Horizon."

Hearing that, Ash immediately felt ashamed. She stared into her coffee, not able to make eye contact with Miranda, less she saw the tears that were welling up in her eyes.

"He only told me about it after I… well, you know. And I finally understood what happened, why seeing you upset him so. I don't think it was over what you said; I think it was more about what he didn't say, what he couldn't say. He was angry about the position the Illusive Man had put him in with you, with everyone that he ever knew. I think that was the first time that I was ashamed because of my ties with Cerberus."

Ash looked up and saw Miranda was now the one looking into her coffee. Ash didn't know the woman well enough to read what was going on in her mind, but she knew what she had to say to her.

"When we were on Horizon, and you were with John… one of the reasons I reacted so strongly was because I saw you there, and I saw how you were looking at him. I thought there was something going on… and with how hurt and upset I was when I found out John was alive, and with the speculation being that he had faked his death to join Cerberus…"

"I understand. You have no idea how much that email you sent meant to him. He was… reinvigorated, inspired. I honestly believe that you are why he was able to get us out of the Collector's base alive."

Ash didn't really believe that, but she had to admit, it felt good that someone else did. While they were talking, Ash decided that, despite any reputation she might have, she was thankful Miranda was staying with them. Here was a woman that they could rely on to give them her honest opinion no matter what. Ash might even come to like her, but that would have to come with time.

Right now, she appreciated her, especially being up-front and honest about her approaching John for… whatever she had been looking for. John had already told Ash about it, but the fact that Miranda told Ash herself went a long way to building some trust.

Ash stood to go. "Well, I guess I've taken up enough of your time. Thanks for talking with me, and… for telling me. It means a lot."

"Of course… I'm sorry; I don't know how I should address you. Lieutenant Commander Williams? Miss Williams? Ashley? I don't want to be too familiar, with the job and all, but…"

Smiling, Ash looked at Miranda. "Ash is just fine. I don't stand on procedure too much, and since it's technically a mission for the Council as opposed to the Alliance, I'm not really operating as a Lieutenant. I guess I have to ask you the same question. Most of the people refer to you as Miss Lawson…"

"Or the Ice Queen, from what I've overheard from Mr. Moreau," Miranda cut in, with a faint smile at the corner of her lips. "Miranda is fine… Ash."

Ash smiled, and nodded. She walked back to the elevator, and keyed in the CIC deck. _Thanks God that went well,_ she thought to herself. She found herself looking forward to working with this crew.

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><p><strong>For the rest of the story, check out "Rules of Engagement," the first chapters of which should be posted in the next few days.<strong>

**Thanks!**


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